I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
