I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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