Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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