Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My vagina just clenched in fear
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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