So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize