all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
