If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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