He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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