New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
