The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize