Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
