Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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