the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
