so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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