you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize