On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
