btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
