guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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