Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize