And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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