Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
