I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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