you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
