Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
