He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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