He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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