Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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