Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im part way to drunk.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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