A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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