Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When are your genitals available?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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