just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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