I accidentally had phone sex last night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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