He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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