doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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