Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
