I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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