he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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