Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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