the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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