i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
