i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
