Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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