Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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