I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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