guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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