is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
