Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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