Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize