for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
