Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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