What a fucking waste of an outfit
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
