She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
