i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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