I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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