Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize