is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize