ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
