I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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