I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
